Hey, it's me, Annie. What's new? I have had like a gazillion stalkers, because who wouldn't? But you want to know what's not cool? No one really deserves to be free or deserved to live The American Dream. Piggybacking off of me like I'm some kind of cheap thing, when I risked it all AND WE KNOW IT.

And someone called me a sadist, and now that doesn't even hurt. But where's Imaginary Authors, LeLabo or Byredo? I know! They're ignoring you. And whoever said Ignorance is Bliss just might've been right, but that saying is mofo stupid too. I know another thing now: Left to their own devices, people can't imagine anything on their own. And if that isn't confounding tell me what is?

Our fragrances - composed of perfume & cologne, a combination of mood & belief, and a range from floral scent perfume to vanilla scented cologne and everything you can imagine in between and outside but always with our signature range - are the original olfactory reminders of home and Rafael Nadal needs to go too, because who the f are you gonna respect after This? Yeah, calling you out like a casting call. 

Because I'm never gonna not be me, but being me and being forever changed and knowing the burden of proof is on the peasants and we can't stop seeing their faces or losing them altogether? INCENSED AT IT ALL.

PS. One of the best fragrance perfume for ladies, my favorite floral scent perfume, is ROZED, an original, high-quality scent composition.

Back to one of our top-sellers, ACHAEAN: Within this scent vanilla is paired with a potent yet subdued and sensual floral and powdery blend that oozes effortless confidence. 

Set amidst, we remain with knowing want to this day (we love that connection to the history that we know – so many similar buildings have been lost, developed into flats, or simply knocked down). In addition to the supply chain issues our country is facing, this Founder started importing and sourcing in 2020 because retail is in her genes (and yes, I'm aware it's a crowded market but some things when you set out to do, and told everyone and their mother you wanted to out loud, and love to write and can't live without being a creative) other products from outside of the country until I found a source good enough, I'm trying to adapt my formulas to the standards and needs of the masses if that's what I have to do to ensure my girl gets the best education & care she deserves, because it's about love.

You should check it out. It isn't that hard to try something new, now isn't it? What's holding you back? Because ambition won't quit me, and the passion I have that I told the world about & I always do so openly, confounds me when everyone seems to be so into hiding everything. Our newsletters are straight from the heart, totally original, and pretty cool in my book. All it takes is gumption, uh, like two seconds to sign up for our emails and this thing like curiosity instead of me making me to all the work in a world lacking of curiosity FOR you. And the whole thing about me being offended on your behalf? And us showing all our DL to try to stop a civil war and me & my team working while all y'all were on vacation? And now you're all carefree and can't even like show some goddamn respect? F you and your mother? Go rot in hell. ETERNAL. I know one thing: I won't see you there and thank gawd for that. 

On the flip side: We have some bad-ass sandalwood beard and body oils (all our signature INCENSED AT IT ALL (now SOLD OUT cause I compete with myself and I am motivated by proving myself wrong and you won't ever get that and WE KNOW IT) - you gotta try it though to get it and do this thing called going out of your comfort zone for once to get it though). The formulas are quick-drying, non-greasy and non-comedogenic. The aromas are subtle and are on the cologne/unisex side. We also have some shower mists coming out that we're pretty stoked about. You can create your very own experience at home with our spray shower mist. Instead of dying of pretense this offsets that all and saves all your senses with our signature blend of layered scents (that of course take into account all our other scents and work with them all - again, no easy feat).  Spray a few times into the steamy air of a hot shower/bath and you're set. As for our body oils which I sent to so many family members, and their favorite is ROZED (here in perfume format, but in the collection you can select it for bodycare), and hands down, I have to say the consensus is to get the most out of it, apply it to still-damp skin straight from the shower, to lock in moisture and for an even intense but yet subdued in a mysterious, just-enough way I like to add THESIS over it.

If you're looking for an imposter or cheap kind of oil a hippie would use or some Rodan + Fields brand to slot into your morning routine go somewhere else already. If you want an indulgent investment for those treasured moments of self-care, you're at the right editor-approved spot and we'd love you to browse if you have the balls to be straightforward.

Another thing: I don't like conglomerate living, and you're pretty much telling us you do. Everytime I see an orange and purple face come out, I want to hurl. Everytime I say something important into the echo chamber and people are so stupid that they don't even have the balls to acknowledge that something is off, or can't even be open enough to know it's always about love & respect and the whole respect thing and my 'you just better' - losing respect for everyone and their mother IN PLAIN SIGHT. No one - except for a few, and I said 'this is last of the mohicans out loud, and I live out loud, and no one has or had the balls to except for a few' and NO ONE got Stand by Me, and we all know that I'm the only one that gave a sh-t about The American Dream. Everyone using guises on LI like they think they know something (or anything for that matter) makes me wanna hurl, so I reach for our disruptive intoxicating iconoclastic fragrances to counteract all that total bullsh-t, and to all the people that should have had our backs, shame on you. I always tell people straight up what I think, and more people should. No one was ever straight, not even one whimper, and just how uncool to do to the real creatives that know fake from a mile away and get what performance-based and earned is about and now we have to work around total retards pretending like they know anything when they're in plain sight using yahoo and businesswire & prwire phonies under the guise of Forbes, cause get what? I'm on the Forbes Gp. And to take all my ideas and to use them and think I don't know...there's no words for that kind of pretense in plain sight. And when I don't like something I say it straight-up to that person, but to all the people I defended who don't have the balls to even reciprocate once, like ever, what's the point of them existing I ask? That's my right.

Where others see imperfections, I saw something I wanted to perfect. Where some see perfections, I see imperfections that I want to draw out in a way that is different and took away from delight.

In August 2023, and of this writing, we launched our Upscale Shower Mist Trio, and it's cool because you can transform your mundane, ordinary shower into an at home  experience of your making with our fine fragrances formatted on purpose for the AM. Infused with the finest of materials, our revitalizing mists (fine spray at that - it's not direct so it's perfect and very much like bringing a eucalyptus leaf into the shower but we're not hippies so it's the luxury version of that if you get analogies at all) & our trio and each scent releases a different, each unique yet calming aroma that soothes your senses, relieves congestion from fakery, and sets the stage for a relaxing self-care routine we want you to make your own, and create space for us creatives seeking respite from it all. It's both versatile and we have your well-being and your vanity in mind. 

Unwind, rejuvenate, and turn a mundane task into a luxuriously therapeutic experience – with Royal Malady, your shower will never be the same. PS. This girl prefers Kohler, but loves to change her hardware up.