Skip to content
GET TWO FULL SAMPLES OF ANY FRAGRANCE ON OUR SCENT LIST WITH ANY ORDER. GOOD UNTIL 12/31

ROYAL MALADY

CRUEL INFLECTIONS OF HUMOR, OLFACTORY-STYLE. FOR THE ONES WHO WERE DOWN, WANNA BE DOWN AGAIN, ARE STRAIGHT-SHOOTERS, AND AREN'T DUMBER THAN F AND DEADER THAN A DOORKNOB.Scent List
GIRLS CLUB // FINE FRAGRANCE

FOLIO CLASS I

ROSES ARE RED AND ALL WE GOT ARE MOFO POSERS

DATE THE DEVIL & MAKE HIM CRY 

SOME DAYS YOU WANNA RULE THE WORLD,

OTHER DAYS YOU WANNA SAY F IT.

Royal Malady - FOLIO CLASS I

RECTIFY, APPOSITION, INQUEST.

​HOWEVER YOU ROLL, OUR BUILT-IN PRIMERS (4 TYPES BTW) STAY, IN THE BEST OF WAYS, BOTH INNATE & INTRINSIC.

BOYS CLUB // FINE FRAGRANCE

FOLIO CLASS II

IF YOU THINK THERE'S A GOD, THEN THERE IS.

GIVE THEM THE BOOK

FOR ANTI-GRAVITY

Royal Malady Niche Cologne: SUPERSECT

DYSCENTRIC, SUPERSECT, IAMBIC.

OUR MOLECULES BIND, UNLIKE CONVENTIONAL OILS POSERS TRY TO GET AT THE CORNER STORE & DON'T WORK FOR, AT ALL & NOT EVEN A WHIMPER, BUT THEY'RE DEFINITELY AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING I SAY, & THEY JUST WANT TO BE ME OR F-CK ME. IT'S OBVIOUS. COMEUPPANCE & PENNANCE.

GIRLS CLUB // THE STRAND SET // HAIR SCENT

FOLIO CLASS III

IN TIME SWEPT RUINS

ALL THAT STANDS

ARE STRONG FOUNDATIONS

MEGALITH, BEVIED, DIVIDENT.

3AM MOMENTS YOU WEAR, GOING YOUR WAY, EVEN DURING THE DAY, AND TO THE ONES WHO GET THE 3AM SHOWER MOMENTS & THE WATERPROOF NOTEBOOKS IN THE SHOWER. 2009 IS SOME IMPORTANT SH-T, AND DO WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU DO AND SEE IT THROUGH (OUT LOUD AND TO THE WORLD & IN PRINT & ALL YOU POSERS ENJOYING FREEDOM B/C I GOT THIS HUGE THING CALLED SACRIFICE THAT WE KNOW YOU'LL NEVER GET. JUSTIFIED.

UNISEX // INCENSED AT IT ALL // POCKET-SIZED

FOLIO CLASS IV

DECONSTRUCTING IT ALL

AS YOU HAIL THE MYSTICAL

WALKING AROUND IN THIS THING CALLED LIFE

Royal Malady Unisex Cologne: ACHAEAN

ACHAEAN, ATTEST, EPITAPHIC.

IT'S LIKE YOUR OWN GOSPEL, MINUS THE LITERAL CHURCH,YOU CAN WAKE UP IN. ROOTED IN DISSENT IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO TRY & BE CURIOUS ENOUGH TO DESERVE TO GET. 4 GO F-YOURSELVES TO GET HEARD BY SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY'RE 'GOOD' BUT WE KNOW WHAT'S REALLY UP. THEY'LL ALWAYS BE A TEMPLATE NO MATTER WHAT URL GUISE THEY BUY. WHAT THEY'RE REALLY INTO IS CENSORSHIP OF REALITY & I'M NOT DOWN WITH THAT.

GIRLS CLUB // DEAD ENDS MENDER // HAIR SATIN

FOLIO CLASS V

TAKING THE LONG WAY IN

LOOKING DOWN UPON THEM ALL

GETTING LOST ON THE WAY TO LOST & FOUND

FLIPPANT, MYOPIC, ELOCUTE.

FOR STRANDS SO GLOSSY, BOTH RAPUNZEL AND GOLDILOCKS CAN'T STAND IT. THIS IS FOR THE ONES WHO KNOW, HEAR & UNDERSTAND THE FIFTH DIMENSION, MAY FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD AT TIMES BUT GET THE OTHER DIMENSION AND KNOW THE SHEEP WON'T AND MAYBE THAT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING, BECAUSE BETTY AND VERONICA ARE BENEATH US.

UNISEX // IRED BY IT ALL // BODY BASIS

FOLIO CLASS VI

YOUR INNER CURIOUS GEORGE

REACHES FOR IT FIRST

WHEN IN A VELVETEEN RABBIT MOOD

Royal Malady Niche Unisex Cologne

OFFCOURSE, TRAIPSED, VEERED.

THE FIRST LAYER TO WEAR, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE MASSES WON'T EVER SAY OUT LOUD, FOR THEMSELVES, LIKE EVER. NOT FOR MASS MARKET & TOO GOOD FOR MASS CONSUMPTION. SANCTIFIED.

BOYS CLUB // FORMAT: FACE // POSTSHAVE

FOLIO CLASS VII

IF CLEOPATRA'S HUSBAND

GOT REVISIONIST

THEY'D HAVE BATHED IN THESE

Royal Malady Classic Men's Fragrance SYNTAX

FORMAT, SAITE, SYNTAX.

IF YOU ALWAYS USED LOTION, BEFORE ADDING THE SOAP TO WASH YOUR HANDS WITH. OUR HAND SENDAL IS UNDEFINABLE, CUSTOMIZABLE & GETS RID OF THE CLOAK & DAGGER, INSIDUOUS & HIDDEN ANTAGONISTS THAT THINK THEY'RE SOMEHOW CLEVER & GET OFF ON IT, BUT WE KNOW BETTER. VIBE 'THEY JUST BETTER' CAUSE WE MADE THIS TO RECTIFY ALL THE THINGS THEY AREN'T SAYING BUT WANT US TO SAY FOR THEM & GETTING OFF ON PICKING MY BRAIN FOR FREE IN SOME GUISE LIKE I DON'T KNOW WASSUP. FORETOLD & 2009

EDUCATED THE MASSES AND FOR WHAT? BURDEN OF PROOF IS ON THE MERE MORTALS, TOTAL HYPOCRITES, TOTAL PUSSIES, & PEASANTS BUT THEY MAY NEVER SEE OUTSIDE OF THEMSELVES OR EVEN HAVE A CEREBRAL CORTEX.

CHECK OUT WHAT'S NEW & TRENDING

Learn more about our affiliate programs, what you get when you refer a friend, what brick & mortar stores you can find us in that we're expanding out, and ways we can collaborate. Participate.

Olfactory transformative compositions & sensory experiences that transcend conventional boundaries. These discerning fragrances are a testament straight from the heart, even in luxurious abandonment where time seems suspended. Infuse your surroundings with the luxury of this suite of Royal Malady™underpinnings, handcrafted & emblematic.

Featured in

Verishop, Refinery29, Highsnobiety